peeved

Pet peeves are a funny thing, aren't they? The word "pet" seems to imply a small or minor annoyance, yet my pet peeves tend to frustrate the "H-E-double hockey sticks" out of me.

One such peeve is when people know exactly what they want but choose to communicate the want in a way that is steeped in ambiguity and confusion. It drives me nuts to be within earshot of a conversation where I can hear both parties complicating very simple messages and ultimately never really understanding each other. I want to jump in the middle and mediate the conversation.

For instance, I bear witness to this same ridiculous conversation every month, when I take "Harry" to the store. "Harry" likes to get 2 half-pound packages of the leanest ground meat possible, and he knows that the leanest meat he can get for this request is 85% lean. Rather than simply asking the butcher for 2 half-pound packages of 85% lean, this is what he says:

Butcher: Hi what can I get'cha?

"Harry": Yeah I'm lookin for... uh... what's your leanest ground meat, ya know, for like burgers and stuff?

Butcher: 97% lean

"Harry": I need to get 2 half-pound packages of that.

Butcher: Can't do it

"Harry": Oh c'mon, what do ya mean you can't do it, someone did it for me last month.

Butcher: No, we can't open and repackage the 97%; it comes already packaged and priced.

At this point "Harry" starts to fuss and make a scene, at which the butcher gets pissed off and defensive. "Harry" talks in circles and just repeats the request, and the butcher repeats the denial, but in a louder and more frustrated tone. The first time I witnessed this troubled exchange, I knew I had to intervene, so I jumped in:

Me: "Ok so we can't break up the 97%, what is the leanest meat that we can break up?

Butcher: 85%.

Me: Great, we'll take 2 half pound packages of 85%. Is that cool "Harry"?

"Harry": perfect.

And this happens every single time, without fail, except I've learned to intervene the moment the butcher asks "Harry" what he would like. But even so, it still drives me nuts to know that "Harry", left to his own devices, would continue to ask what the leanest meat was rather than what the leanest meat was that could be opened and repackaged to his specifications... nuts I tell ya, NUTS!

Just a little more clarity in conversations can save people so much time and aggravation, especially me ;)