Day Five: BAD

Allow me to cut to the chase: Today was awful.  Absolutely, undoubtedly, one of the most frustrating days of my life.   The good news is that I'm pretty certain that it had little-to-nothing to do with the detox. Today's fiasco aside, I feel good.

My intention for today was to get a very time-sensitive outpatient procedure done (had to be today) in the morning and then go to work in the afternoon.  What wound up happening was this: I was on the phone from 7:30am to 2:30pm with my primary care physician, my insurance company, my specialist and the hospital, and it all resulted in a big fat ball of nothing.  All that talk and no appointment.


Here's a very brief recap of the highlights:


Jen > Hospital: Hi, I need to come in today
Hospital: Ok but first we need your doc to call
Jen: Ok I'll have her call


Jen > Doc: Hi Doc, I need you to call hospital and tell them I need this time-sensitive procedure.
Doc: No problem, we'll call them.
Doc via voicemail: FYI we called and faxed over the scrip, you're good to go, just need to call and schedule you appointment.
Jen: Yay!


Jen > Hospital: Hi, I need to come in today, and my doctor already called and faxed over scrip.
Hospital: Sorry, patients cannot schedule their own appointments for same-day procedures, your doc has to call back and do that.  
Jen: Really?
Hospital: Yep


Jen > Doc: Hi Doc, you need to call back and schedule my appointment
Doc: Really?
Jen: Yep
Doc: I don't think so.  When I called, they said I just had to fax the scrip and then you had to make your own appointment.
Jen: Hmmm.  I'll try again, maybe I got a misinformed rep
Doc: Yeah, try again.  I spoke directly with the folks in radiology
Jen: Ok


Jen > Hospital: Hi, I need to come in today and my doc already called and faxed in the scrip.  She was told that the next step was for me to call to set up my appointment.
Hospital: Sorry, patients cannot schedule their own appointments, your doc has to call back and do that.
Jen: But, but, but-
Hospital: Your doc has to call so and so in this office and then fax the scrip to the other office.
Jen: yeah, I'm pretty certain she's done that already.
Hospital: No, we have no record of that.
Jen: Ok well then you and I have to conference call over to her so that you can tell her directly what she needs to do.
H > J > Doc: (We finally connect to doctor's office and hospital lady hangs up)


Jen > Doc Office: I'm losing my mind
D > J: Ok, I'll take a message and will have a nurse call you back.


(INSERT LOTS OF SWEAR WORDS HERE.  Also, about three hours have gone by at this point)


Doc Office > Jen: Hi, please call Joy at the hospital at this number.  I just spoke to her and she said that you can schedule your appointment.
Jen: Praise God


Jen > Joy: Hi, I need to come in today, and I understand you just spoke to my doc's office.
Joy > Jen: I need your doctor to fax over the scrip


(ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME????)


Jen > Joy: Um, no.  I'm certain that she's done that.  Also, I have a copy of the scrip and am happy to bring it over.
Joy > Jen: Oh ok, well then let's get you registered.  


I then proceeded to give her all sorts of information to become a registered patient, and was doing a happy dance cause I was on my way to getting my appointment!


Joy: Ok, looks like we can get you in here on Thursday.


(NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)


Jen: NO, NO, NO.  The whole point of this call is so that I can come in today.  It's a time sensitive procedure.
Joy: Ohhh, well then your doc needs to send the scrip with the word "stat" on it.


(This is where I started to break down, and Joy knew it)


Joy: Please hold while I call your doc.
Jen: (holding)
Joy: Thanks for holding, your doc will add the word "stat" and will re-fax, and you should be good to go.
Jen: (happy dance)
Joy: Please hold while I check the schedule with radiology
Jen: (holding)
Joy: The radiology folks want to talk to you.  Please hold while I transfer.


Radiology: Hi, what do you need done today?
Jen: (I explained what I needed, and read the scrip to her)
Radiology: Please hold
Jen: (holding)
Radiology: I'm sorry, that's the one procedure we don't do here.


As her words echoed in my ear and the reality hit my brain, I didn't know what else to do but start sobbing.  It was now 12:30.  I had spent 5 hours trying to make an appointment for the one thing this hospital doesn't do.  Again I ask, ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME???  I had been sent to this particular hospital because that's where I'm capitated to through my insurance, yet this hospital doesn't have what I need.  Which, by the way, is a pretty standard procedure.  Nothing fancy.  


I then spent the rest of the afternoon calling my insurance company and other hospitals to try and get in same-day using the same process, but it was a futile attempt.  No one could see me.  My window of opportunity has passed and I have to wait for the next window, and hope things work out better next time.  So incredibly frustrating.  Oh well, at least I can grab a beer, I mean a water, and drink my sorrows away.  


Tomorrow will be better.  Tomorrow will be better.  Right?